Dazzling Dowry

 On Saturday a couple of weeks ago, I got up early. I was excited because we were going to the dowry ceremony of my cousin’s friend. We began walking towards the house where it would all take place. We were told that the ceremony would begin at 8am so we left the house around 7:20am to get there on time. On the way we stopped to pick up a friend, which took a good fifteen minutes, as she had to change and prepare. By the time we were on the road again it was 7:45am. The original location that my cousin told me was a roundabout that was not too far away so I was not worried. By the time we arrived at the roundabout it was nearing 8am and there was no one in sight. I realized then, that this was not where the dowry was going to take place, but that it was merely the nearest landmark.

We began walking but soon stopped. My cousin made a call and we turned around. It turned out that she knew to walk to the roundabout but after that, she was unsure. We kept walking, but eventually we asked people and they said it was still a ways away. At this point it was 8:30am so we decided to get on taxi motos to bring us to the location.

Upon arriving we went into a small room where the bride-to-be was staying. As part of the tradition, the bride-to-be is all dressed up and has henna on her arms and hands but she is not allowed to leave the room for the day. Guests are however allowed to come into the room, greet her and sit with her. For the next hour we sat with her as other friends came in. I found out that my cousin is a friend with one of the bride’s close friends but she did not even know the name of the bride (Laur).

Around 9:30am the dowry ceremony was about to take place. Family and friends from the bride were seated in chairs and on mats. Suddenly outside there arouse such a clatter I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter. It turns out that the groom’s family and friends parade in at the same time carrying all sorts of gifts and shouting and cheering. There was soap, luggage, candies, juice and many other gifts. This was probably my favourite part of the ceremony.

Once the groom’s family and friends were seated (the groom does not attend the ceremony either), it was time for the exchange of money. Money transfers from the husband’s family to the wife’s family, because women are a big asset in the family and once they marries, they live with their husband/his family. The money and gifts are given to compensate for the loss of a valuable woman.

About 5 people from each side of the family came into the middle of the seating area. Each member of the groom’s family passed over money to the bride’s family one at a time. The money was counted and then it was piled up and given to the bride’s family. A total of 350 000 CFA (equivalent to $700) was exchanged. After the money was exchanged, water was brought to these important central guests. Then there were speeches of thanks and appreciation.

At the end of the ceremony people were invited to the husband-to-be’s house for a meal. I did not end up going to this portion of the day but it is part of the tradition. I was very happy to be able to participate in a dowry ceremony, which is an important step in the marriage of two people in Chad.

The first picture is of the bride to be with me and the others are from the dowry ceremony.