Dowry Dresses, Dishes and Dancing

Dowry ceremonies are a lot of work. I saw this first hand as my mother began planning for the dowry ceremony of my cousin Aaron. As is the tradition, the man’s family brings many gifts and money to the woman’s family. The preparation takes many meetings, long evenings and many trips to buy different items to present to the wife’s family.

Traditionally, fabric is chosen for young woman and boys of each side of the family, and clothing is made in this fabric. Then on the day of the ceremony you wear your outfit with all the others! Adeline, Salomé, Ornella, Junior and I (among others) all had clothing made.

On the day of the dowry, the family and friends of the groom gather at one house (my uncle’s) with all the gifts. Gifts are laid on trays and include: traditional food, soap, fabric, scarves, candy, shoes, and bottles of pop. Around 8 am, after a short prayer, women picked up a tray and placed it on their head to transport it to the bride’s family (where her friends and family were waiting). I wanted to participate and ended up picking up a tray with 3 large pieces of fabric on it.

Then the gifts were paraded through the streets with woman holding them at the front and men following all the presents. People ululated, and sang as we made our way to the woman’s family.

Upon arrival, the gifts were taken from our heads, by woman from the bride’s family and brought inside the compound. There were a couple hundred people present and so some people were seated on chairs, others on mats and still others stood, crowding around the gifts.

The ceremony began with a song and a prayer. Then three members from each family sat in the middle and discussed the price of the dowry. Slowly bits of money are given and counted by the bride’s family. Eventually a final price is agreed upon and the members get up, to lots of cheering.

At the end of the ceremony, we all returned to my uncle’s house and had a lovely meal with 3 sauces, boule, injera, and fried cakes. Then there was a large dance party where I continued to practice my Chadian dance skills (to a great deal of laughter). It was a wonderful day, where I felt like I was a part of a special family tradition!